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Saturday, December 1, 2012

Battle Scars Healed


There are moments in time that change you forever.  High school and college graduations, if you’re a Christian the day you got saved, your first kiss, your wedding day, the day you have a child, and the one that I think about almost every day since it happened.  I’m talking about the day that you look death in the face and are blessed with making it another day.  That day for me will stand out forever because it’s the day that God told me “I’m not done with you yet, you have more to do.”  I’m not saying I actually heard God say those words out loud and the sky cracked open with light shining down.  What I am saying is that I KNOW that’s what He was telling me in my head. 

            It was a hot day, just like all the other days I had been in Iraq, and the good old US army was putting a protective coating on the floor of our dining facility, so we had to cook and serve dinner that day outside from our mobile kitchen trailer.  In between making sure the serving line stayed stocked and the line kept moving along my coworkers and I would get to talking about upcoming missions.  The soldier I was talking to was getting ready to go to a checkpoint with no shower available so I was informing him about some pre soaped individually wrapped washcloths we had that he could take with him.  We had hit a good point in serving where I knew everything would be okay for a few minutes so I offered to show him where we kept them.  The moment I opened the door to the storage unit there was a very loud BOOM! We were surrounded by generators that kept all of our buildings going with electricity, so at first for a split second I thought “one of the generators must have somehow blown up”.  But then, BOOM!  BOOM!  BOOM! My mind clicked into gear and realized we were being attacked.

            “Move your ass! NOW! We’ve got to get inside!” I hollered at the private standing next to me.  We crouched and ran at the same time, diving under an unused kitchen trailer along the way for some momentary cover.  We saw a couple of other people getting low to the ground and some that looked like they might not be moving.  During a brief pause in the attack I tugged on the private’s collar and shouted “Let’s move now!”  We made it into the building, which was only made out of the same materials as your standard mobile home, but at least it was surrounded by large stone barriers.  The floor was still sticky from whatever they had painted on it to protect it from spilled food.  Nobody cared, we were all laying down on our bellies just trying to wait out the attack.

            There was a guy next to me that was holding his neck.  He moved his hand and asked me if he was bleeding.  Do you know that moment when you cut yourself shaving and you know it happened, but it takes a few seconds for the blood to show up?  Well, that’s what happened with this guy, so at first my answer was no.  When the blood started coming out I told him and then proceeded to look for something to hold over his neck to stop the bleeding.  It turned out it looked worse than it actually was, he had been hit by a tiny piece of shrapnel, and even though it bled a lot, he would be okay.  I wish I could have said the same for one of the other soldiers that got a piece of shrapnel in the neck.  She died, then was resuscitated, and then completely gave up and died a second time. 

            The soldier that died that evening was a female.  She died because a piece of shrapnel lodged in her carotid and couldn’t be moved.  If they would have taken it out she would have bled to death, but she still died anyway.  She was standing where I and my soldier were standing only moments before.  I know it was God that took me away from that spot at that moment.  That soldier that was with me says I saved his life that day, but I tell him that it was God, not me that saved both of us. 

            There are parts of this memory that will always be a blur to me.  I don’t remember if I saw that female soldier laying on the ground bleeding to death.  I don’t remember how many IEDs came over the barriers that night.  What I do remember are some brave soldiers reacting how they’ve been trained to, and I will never forget seeing everything the next morning.  There were holes everywhere from the shrapnel.  Our refrigerator trucks were bleeding grape juice that stained the outside of their white surface.  Our mobile kitchen trailers had several rips and holes as well. 

The hardest part of it all was not being able to tell my wife anything about it when I got to talk to her the next day.  It seemed impossible to maintain any kind of normal conversation without constantly flashing back to what had just happened the prior night.  I know I talked and it must have made some kind of sense.  I know I told her I loved her, probably several times, but I felt horrible for not being able to tell her, and also not wanting to tell her because I didn’t want her to worry.  My plan was to wait until I got home to tell her, but I think I ended up telling her before then. 

Now it’s time to talk about the reason God saved me that day.  I really believe He had and hopefully still has big plans for me.  Within a year of me returning home from Iraq my wife and I signed up to take PRIDE classes, the mandatory training to become foster parents.  By November of the year following my return we were licensed and had our first placement.  I don’t think I can share the reason we got these kids, but it was a very sad story.  I guess any story that ends with kids being separated from their parents would be sad, but this was extremely sad.  We only had them for about four months, and before they left we got one more child that is still with us today.  Just a month or so after they left we got two additional kids, a six year old and a two year old, both girls.  They have a baby brother that we also now have, but the six year old has gone to live with family in another state.  It is looking like the two baby boys and two year old girl we have are going to be legally free for adoption soon and we have every intention of doing just that.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Out of the Army

So it's done, over, finished, completed.  I am officially separated from the US Army.  It was under honorable circumstances.  I have a medical condition that would not allow me to fully function as a soldier anymore.  Now I'm staying in the area of my last duty station, doing foster care, looking for work, and I am about to start school to get a Bachelor's Degree in Business.  I'm going to miss the camraderie that comes with being a soldier.  I don't know when I go back to the civilian job world if I'll ever feel about my coworkers the same as I felt about the people I served with in the military.  I won't say I was close friends with everyone I ever worked with, but even if you didn't get along, or had different views, likes, dislikes, whatever... you always had at least that one thing in common.  We were all there for different reasons, but we worked hard, served our country, leaned on each other, pushed each other, irritated the hell out of each other, and even though we would never admit it out loud, we all loved each other like family.  The army has changed a lot since my dad's army, but it still has that one redeeming quality... it brings people together and forces them to work as a team, and along the way of learning to become a team, they become a family.  So even though I may be officially out of the army, I will always be a part of the family, and I will never forget the people I have worked with over the past ten and a half years.  I have learned a lot from them, taught a few of them some things, and made many life long friends.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Amazon Let Me Compare Kindle Fire To iPad2!

Okay, so I might have tried to post a comment on Amazon requesting that they give me a free Kindle Fire to compare to my wife's iPad2.  I know the two have a lot in common and quite a few people suggested that Apple isn't even comparable, but I think that for the price if it works it is a better overall value.  Of course other people posted that they couldn't even come close and there are always the sarcastic folks who say things like I might as well compare the iPad2 to a fire extinguisher or the Kindle Fire to a toaster.  I say this is America, we have a right to our own opinions, so if you want to try to score a free Kindle by offering to compare it to another product, go for it!  If you want to tell somebody they may as well compare it to an inanimate object, well that's okay too! 

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Don't Worry, Be Happy!

Okay, so it's been a while since I've been able to post anything.  To be honest I was a little disappointed when Adsense took away the links to their ads and discontinued my account.  I believe somebody at work was clicking a lot on the ads thinking they were helping me. I do appreciate the thought, but it ended up costing us the tiny revenue it would have created to help out with foster care.  I know God has bigger plans so I'm not really that bummed about it.  He will always provide whatever we need anyway.  Whether or not this generates revenue I think I'll still keep it up, maybe just not posting as often.  It's kind of fun putting my opinion out there for anyone to read if they happen to stumble upon it when googling about current news or just some of the random topics I've blogged about.  If you're interested I thought you should know that I do plan on trying to put music to Stooped Peeple and posting something on Youtube.  Be on the lookout for it!  Until next blog, hope you have a great day, week, month, or if you're really not that into reading,  a great year!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Why be stressed when you know you're blessed?

Today I let stress get the better of me.  I could literally feel my blood pressure rising, my heart rate increasing, my face getting hot, and a surge of anger rising up from deep down.  I try not to let it show, but it always slips out and hurts the wrong people.  Well anybody it hurts would be the wrong person, but I think you know what I mean.  I think we all need ways to relieve the pressure and stress of day to day life.  One of my favorite songs is "Under Pressure" by Queen because there are times in my life I feel like "hey that's me!".  I think probably one of the best ways for me is listening to some of my favorite musicians like Third Day, Casting Crowns, and maybe even a little classic rock.  But if you want a really good way to relieve stress I've found that talking about it with your spouse or a close friend is going to help a lot.  Sometimes that's all you need is just someone to listen.  Most importantly God will always listen anytime we want to talk to Him and that's always going to help!

Why be stressed anyway?  What is worth the rise in blood pressure?  I used to be a very laid back kind of person and not so easily stressed.  I am blessed beyond belief with a wonderful wife, a great roof over our heads, reliable cars, a very good church, and the start of several new friendships, and of course most importantly with eternal salvation through the blood of Jesus Christ!  Why should the things of this world cause stress when heaven awaits when my time on earth is done?  I think if any of us ever get stressed out beyond belief that is something we should all keep in mind. 

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time he dreamed of being a fireman, then a policeman, then a teacher, then a rockstar, then a lawyer, and then a family man.  None of those dreams were bad, but none of them happened.  It's been said that life is what happens while we're making plans, but I think it's really different.  What it should say is "God is what happens while we're making plans!"  He (okay, he is me) did once dream of being all of those things at one time or another, and who knows maybe rock star is still attainable, but God has had me where He wanted me to be the whole time.  I often think about how often we've moved and how much I have hated being uprooted and having to pack and unpack all of the time, and that was before I joined the army!  Now we've been blessed with a home, have started to grow roots and find friends here as well as a really good church, and seem to be living the American dream.  Soon we will become foster parents and have a full house.  You never know what God has in store for you!  All I can really say about all of this is that sometimes life seems overwhelming, but if you just let go and let God, He will always give you enough strength to get through.  I never thought we would end up where we are now, but God knew, and He knew before I did that I was going to love living in the Pacific Northwest.  Maybe one day we will move again, I really don't know.  I hope it's really time that we settle down and stay but if God has other plans I will keep an open mind and heart.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Bad husband

Don't be like me!  Today I was a bad husband.  My poor wife was in pain and I didn't even ask her how it happened until hours after I got home.  I didn't even ask to look at where she was in pain until she showed me where she was hurting.  I hope she will find it in her heart to forgive me for being such a rude husband.  I was wrong to ignore her pain and not try to do something to help her.  I will be  a better husband in the future so she will know how much I love her!